Preventing Negative Effects – Stop Saying No!

Everywhere you look you see pictures of smiling children and/or smiling parents and/or together ones smiling kids. Some people think nothing makes them smile more than to see a child smile but there is far more smile on their faces when they see their parents and/or the children do not smile.

From the time we were small we understood our world revolved around family, friends, and school work but as we grew older our world revolved around schoolwork. Kids seemed to become excited about us getting a chance to make a good first-grade report or perform well at middle school and at high school age, they became angry, frustrated, and disappointed when we didn’t make A’s. Maybe some kids who tune in to this subconscious competition became better and better students and did particularly well in their high school years.

Why did children and teens react to their parents and their work? When we watch kids react to challenges in their life, when we see children undermine their parents and/or their teachers, we know more clearly what is really behind them stumbling.

As the kids grew into teens/wrap aged, their world revolved around schoolwork, extracurricular activities, and sports. The most frustrating part for some was when, unfortunately, when they started meeting parents and parents’ worlds began to swing back together, kids’ behavior in school shifted, the school became more orderly, grades were better, teachers were more engaged with the children and the kids became less and less interested in their education.

And the more care their parents, relatives, peers, and coaches provided, the more often their schoolwork and activities were influenced by these peopleā€¦and the more they were aware of the negative effects kids and teens react to “coaching” from other people.

Up to high school, kids and teens were very aware of their relationships with their friends, teachers, and their parents. The most important people in their lives. Once they started school, they focused their time, energy, and energy on their schoolwork because their interests and passions caused their schedules to be perfect. However, when they were in high school they become focused entirely on their schoolwork and the activities near the school, friends, their friends’ parents, or other outside interests they were in. It was easier to have a good time when the work got him/her done. If they needed multiple sheets of homework to do or they were involved in a special event they wanted to be part of, then they needed to go with the flow.

They were literally part of a sports team where they had to be out on the floor with a bunch of other teams vying for glory. They won some, lost some, and occasionally weren’t very happy with what was going on.

Some of their relationships with family didn’t go so well. Some of their relationships with friends’ parents were not so rosy either. They’d investigate a relationship and run with the one they liked best, the one where they felt most secure. And some things just weren’t working.

When they got into college, they knew they wanted to be doing a lot of things outside of school. But correctly arrived at college they found their true calling in life and now they are working, if part-time, in jobs where they feel most comfortable and meet people in the area they feel most comfortable.

What they most miss in life

Well, the end of the school year is nearly over and the last week of it you never see kids as happy as when they came each day. Of course, there are ups and downs. And sometimes when you add kids into the mix, how they deal with this gracefully when they are Five years old, you don’t see the necessity of it being so.

But the normal 5-year-old does a lot better than the special needs child. The normal five-year-old doesn’t win all the time. Sometimes they don’t. And sometimes they do.

They have far fewer inhibitions about talking about some parts of the school and trying to help other kids. The normal 5-year-old is on the spectrum and knows he maybe isn’t very OK in some classrooms. They may just need more time to get through a school day and believe that. A lot of kids who have some kind of challenge, have special needs, or feel uncomfortable in many places are the same as the 5-year-old. Kids can mature and learn to deal with these problems and learn to deal with their environment. But many kids who don’t cope well at all, want to have someone there to identify with, to soothe, or to just view as a team.

Kids need parents working with them in all these areas. Parents and teachers in the core of social, emotional, and academic skills, and of course teachers cannot only serve children well, but children deserve and expect success. The school year doesn’t start the day they come home from school and you know what everyone else thinks about school.